Humbug- The Ultimate Lesbian Christmas Carol by Ali Spooner and Annette Mori

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Pre-Order Now, Out Dec. 1st.

Ebban Scrage, the formidable CEO of Scrage Financial, has built her empire by sacrificing everything—including love and compassion. But as Christmas approaches, Ebban is tormented not by ghosts but by relentless nightmares that peel back the layers of her hardened heart.

At the center of her turmoil is Barbara Craig, her talented yet overworked top employee, and Barbara’s daughter, Tammy, a resilient young girl battling bone cancer. In her nightmares, Ebban is forced to return to the painful memory of losing her first love, a casualty of her relentless ambition. As Christmas approaches the dreams grow darker, shifting to Tammy, and in these chilling visions, Ebban witnesses a tragic outcome to Tammy’s upcoming surgery, igniting a flicker of empathy she can no longer ignore.

As reality and nightmares blur, Ebban must decide if she will continue down a path of isolation or embrace the chance to change—not just her own life, but the lives of those she unknowingly holds dear.

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Chapter 1

Chapter One

 

“Everyone is capable of murder. Isn’t that what they say? Well, I’m about to commit my first one,” Barbara grumbled.

“Your hot boss giving you titty fits again?” Darcy asked with a wide grin.

“One time. One time, I mentioned how attractive Ms. Scrage is, and you have to rub it in every single time. Well, I can tell you, I don’t find the woman attractive at all right about now.”

Darcy, Barbara’s best friend, chuckled and raised one eyebrow. “Sure you don’t. And I bet you have hot new junk bonds to sell me that will turn my measly one thousand in savings into a million dollars.” Darcy waggled her eyebrows. “Why don’t you wiggle that fine ass of yours and melt that ice queen’s black heart?”

“Pssht…she barely knows I exist unless she needs me to work the holiday. Then, all of a sudden, I’m indispensable. I finally grew a backbone. Tammy’s surgery is too important. She’s terrified this time. I threatened a lawsuit because killing her would have been too messy,” Barbara said with a tiny amount of pride. “Thank the goddess I’ve just passed my one-year anniversary with Scrage Financial and am eligible for family medical leave.”

“Good for you. I still say you should use your assets. If you know what I mean.” Darcy winked. “Listen, if I were so inclined to pursue someone with your bits and bobs, instead of the ginormous dangling appendage I tend to go for…” Darcy gestured with her hands to indicate her preferred size.

“Ew, do not tell me all about your propensity for attracting men with large dicks.”

“I’m just saying. You’re a catch for someone interested in women.”

“Right, sure I am,” Barbara answered with a fair amount of sarcasm. “Because who wouldn’t want to hitch a ride to my messy life train? Single mother with a special needs child and mounting healthcare bills.”

“Special needs? That sounds like Tammy is a child with a developmental disability. There is not a damned thing wrong with that child’s brain. She’s the brightest little girl in the whole world,” Darcy insisted.

Barbara chuckled. “The whole world, huh? Rather bigoted of you to categorize children with disabilities as having something wrong with their brain.”

“Damn, when you’re right, you’re right. My bad. But you know what I mean.”

“Okay, you get a pass, just this once. I suppose I prefer that versus saying the C word out loud. Telling eligible women that my child has osteosarcoma really sends them running. Most understand that means bone cancer. I suppose I should qualify and say special medical needs. The only reason I’m not quitting is because Scrage Financial has comprehensive healthcare coverage. I can’t imagine what my out-of-pocket costs would have been. Even with the generous medical plan, they don’t cover everything. No insurance plan does. I fucking hate that woman.”

“All I’m saying is there is a fine line between love and hate. Didn’t you tell me you saw glimpses of Ebban’s humanity? She didn’t have to offer you the Cadillac health plan at no extra cost. You said none of the other reps has your plan. Plus, she started that after-school program and kept it open during school breaks. Doesn’t she even pay for the buses to transport the kids to Scrage Financial? My place of employment doesn’t have anything equivalent, I’ll tell you that.”

“You work from home. Why would your company need to provide bussing?”

Darcy grinned. “True, but I doubt they would even if I had to go to a physical office downtown. Office space is expensive, and the cost of staffing the center is nothing to sneeze at.”

Barbara huffed, “You’re right, of course. That was a nice thing for her to do, but I’ve no doubt it’s only so she can hold that over my head and all the other parents who make use of the program. Money is the only thing that motivates that woman. I’m still unsure how she learned about Tammy and my need for a robust healthcare plan. Probably one of her spies.”

“Didn’t you emphasize how important a comprehensive health plan was to you at your interview?”

“Oh yeah, that’s right. I forgot about that. At least she doesn’t know I’m queer. I might have let her assume I’m married to a man. But I can’t figure out why that even matters to her.”

“Maybe she is interested, but she’s afraid you’ll sue her for sexual harassment or something. Especially since you’re misleading her into believing you’re straight and married. You did just threaten a lawsuit when she asked you to work over the Christmas holiday.”

“Doubtful. I’m not revealing this to Ms. Scrooge, oops, I meant Scrage, but if the name fits…” Barbara giggled, “but I was planning on taking my laptop with me so I could work while Tammy is in surgery, and afterward while she’s resting. I’m sure I can sneak in some time to connect with my clients and do the research necessary to recommend different investments tailored to their needs.”

“I take back my previous praise. You have in no way developed a backbone. I rarely get to see you anymore,” Darcy whined. “I’m never canceling another date to hang out with you unless you promise you won’t go running off to your hottie boss as soon as she pulls out her dog whistle.”

“That’s just mean. Calling me a dog.”

“If the panting fits…” Darcy laughed.

“Arghhh. I regret ever confiding in you about my boss. In my defense, it had been a long time since I’d had, well, you know…”

“Sex, an orgasm, a hook-up, yeah, hon, I know. You can’t blame me for that. I’ve even offered to go with you to one of those sapphic meeting places.”

“What the hell is a sapphic meeting place? Do you mean a gay bar?” Barbara asked.

“We have a gay bar? No, I meant to one of those protest marches. Pretty sure they’re ripe with women who wouldn’t mind tapping into that.” Darcy waved her hand up and down Barbara’s body.

“I don’t even know how you’re my best friend. Enlightened, you are not. Despite all my best efforts to educate you about the current political climate and the dangers it presents to all of us, not just the LGBTQ+ community.”

“I keep you entertained,” Darcy deadpanned. “And I love your little munchkin. She’ll have to do until I decide it’s time to settle and pop out one of my own.”

Barbara shook her head and smiled. “You are good with Tammy. I’ll give you that. Thanks for spending the day with her and the evening,” she added. “Working late is becoming a habit I will have to break.”

“It was absolutely my pleasure. Besides, I knew we’d have some adult time to gossip once you came home. I find your grumblings about your boss amusing. It’s my Saturday night entertainment until I find a hot stud to take care of my other needs.”

“Please tell me I haven’t taken advantage of our friendship. Did you have a date tonight that you broke? And don’t lie to me because I’ve known you far too long. Your eye twitches, and then there’s that infinitesimal moment where you won’t look me in the eye.” Barbara leaned forward and focused on her best friend.

“Fine, I broke a date. But he wasn’t that hot and definitely not too much in the brains department.”

Barbara sighed. “Now I’m dragging you into my lonely existence. I need to get a life.”

“Yes, you do. Too bad your hottie boss isn’t on the menu.”

 

 

Ebban Scrage had heard all the whispers. She didn’t care. People had teased her about her last name all her life, pointing out how close it was to Scrooge. She shrugged. If the name fits, so be it. It wasn’t like ghosts were real or the story mirrored present-day reality. Money fixed everything.

Maybe she was a bitch at times, but despite the odds, she’d single-handedly built the premier financial planning company in the entire Pacific Northwest. Taking time off at Christmas wasn’t possible if she wanted to retain her high-end clients. Executives from Amazon, Microsoft, and Boeing, some of the area’s three largest and most successful companies, flocked to Scrage Financial because her returns were unparalleled. Not even the largest retirement companies could come close to touching her results.

“Fuck,” she muttered. “Millennials!” The woman had come highly recommended when she’d hired her, and now she wanted time off at Christmas. Something to do with a medical issue. Ebban didn’t want to admit to being concerned and had tried to wriggle the information out of Barbara, but the damned woman wasn’t forthcoming. Instead, she’d indicated she would file the paperwork with human resources for them to verify, insinuating that her personal business was on a need-to-know basis and Ebban wasn’t on the list to know.

Ebban suspected it had something to do with her daughter. When Barbara interviewed with her, she revealed that comprehensive health insurance was a top priority. That was why Ebban had arranged for her to have a health plan specifically tailored to the promising recruit. Later, the gossip mill revealed why that was so important to Barbara. Apparently, Barbara had a sickly child, which was the reason Ebban had moved heaven and earth to transform one of the largest conference rooms into an after-school program, complete with a qualified nurse to oversee any potential medical issues. She couldn’t have the talented woman distracted after all. But honestly, didn’t Ebban pay her enough to hire a nurse? Her thoughts briefly shifted to the delightful child she met on the same day Barbara and several other prospective employees had interviewed. It was unclear whose child she was, but Tammy clearly had health issues because she definitely wasn’t the poster child for health. Surely, that was a coincidence. Hmm, maybe I should check into this? Could Tammy be Barbara’s daughter?

The conversation had not gone exactly as planned. Women like Barbara Craig set feminism back fifty years. Why couldn’t her husband stay home with the kid? She knew that was a selfish thought and had to admit that if she had a sick child, she certainly wouldn’t have left her care to some incompetent man.

The worst part was that Barbara knew her rights under the law. That didn’t stop Ebban from seriously considering firing the damn woman and taking the chance of a lawsuit. She had enough financial resources to win in a court of law, but was the hassle worth it? No, she decided it wasn’t. Besides, Barbara Craig brightened the office and made Ebban a lot of money in the process. Two very big reasons why she’d never fire the woman.

Too bad Barbara Craig was straight. She’d like nothing more than to push the stunning woman against the wall and listen to her beg Ebban to let her come. Ebban shook her head. The last thing she needed was a lawsuit for sexual harassment.

Ebban slumped into her chair and moved her mouse to activate her laptop. Sunday was not a day of rest for her. Squinting against the screen, she allowed another curse word to erupt from her mouth as she grabbed her cheater glasses and placed them on her nose. It seemed like the very day she turned forty, she needed the damn things. Admitting she needed glasses to read the tiny print was almost more traumatic than actually hitting that uncomfortable milestone.

“Surely, one quick phone call to Barbara would be acceptable. After all, I did grant her six weeks off during Christmas,” Ebban muttered as she looked at her client’s portfolio. He was a demanding son of a bitch, and Barbara had the magic touch. She could see opportunities faster than any other employee of Scrage Financial. That was the only reason Ebban kept her on. That, and the woman was very easy on the eyes.

Ebban grabbed her cell and called the number she knew by heart.

“Hello?” Barbara’s alluring alto voice answered.

The slight uptick at the end revealed what Ebban knew would be an unanswered question. Usually, Ebban did not phone Barbara on a Sunday. Every other day of the week, sure, but Barbara had demonstrated her backbone one other time to let Ebban know Sundays were strictly off limits. She reserved that time with her daughter, and it was sacrosanct.

Launching into her demand, Ebban hoped she wouldn’t have to engage in another unpleasant conversation. “I need your opinion on Paul Harrington’s portfolio. You’ve been watching that new AI stock. Should we add that and sell some of his Apple shares?”

Ebban heard Barbara take a deep breath before responding. “Ms. Scrage, can’t this wait until tomorrow?”

“Ebban, I’ve told you to call me Ebban. Surely, we’ve advanced to the point in our working relationship where you feel free to call me by my first name.”

“No, I don’t believe we have.” Barbara’s clipped tone said it all. “Since you don’t respect any kind of boundary that I believe has been clearly set, I need to establish precise limits. We are not friends, Ms. Scrage. You are my employer. I’m willing to answer calls during this time off. That, let me remind you, is required under the Family Medical Leave Act, but not on Sundays, and not on the day of surgery. Enjoy your Sunday, Ms. Scrage.”

The call abruptly ended, and Ebban looked at her phone. “Rude. I suppose this can wait until tomorrow,” Ebban muttered. Surgery? Hmm, that’s an additional piece of information I didn’t have before this call.

Despite her aggravation, Ebban couldn’t help but admire Barbara’s ability to set boundaries. That didn’t stop being hung up on from irritating her. She imagined Barbara spending her Sundays with her family, maybe even having sex with her husband, and that really rankled her more than anything else.

She’d never allowed anyone to put her in her place before. Why was she permitting it now? That was a question for another day. She didn’t want to think about the only other woman who had ever dared to challenge her. The boundary she had set led to the demise of their relationship. Ebban had crossed that line, and there was no going back from it. She had convinced herself at the time that it was for the best. None of her success with Scrage Financial would have transpired if she hadn’t trampled all over the line. Still, on those long, lonely nights, she ached for her youth and the time she spent with Carnie. Sundays were their lazy days, when they’d spend hours in bed, nibbling on croissants and sipping coffee. Until Ebban destroyed their sacred time by slipping from the bed and heading eagerly to the office.

“Fuck.” It was time to delve into her work again and forget these maudlin thoughts. No good would come from it.

 

 

“How come you were rude to Miss Ebban? You always told me it wasn’t nice to hang up on people, and that I should always treat everyone respectfully. Remember when you said that sometimes bullies are just kids who have been hurt, and the only way they know to express their anger and sadness is to make fun of other people? So I should always be loving because I might not know what their home life is like.”

“Come here, little bunny.” Barbara winked and grinned. “Miss Ebban? Who told you to call her that?”

“She did. And you’re not answering my question,” Tammy replied as her big blue eyes looked up in confusion.

Barbara sighed. “Well, I don’t have any other excuse except to say that sometimes mommies mess up. We aren’t perfect. Sunday is our day, and I don’t like when anyone interrupts our special time. Now, tell me more about how you came to call Ms. Scrage, Miss Ebban.”

“Remember when I wasn’t feeling so good after one of my treatments, and it lasted longer than we thought, so you had to pick me up and take me with you when you interviewed for your new job?”

“Yeah.” Barbara smiled. “I almost canceled, but then you announced that you were a big girl and could wait for Aunt Darcy. The receptionist overheard your declaration and assured me she would keep a watchful eye on you.”

“I was reading the Wall Street Journal, and Miss Ebban sat next to me. We started talking, and she seemed interested in why I would read the Wall Street Journal. I told her it was because my mommy always read it on her phone. She said she preferred the paper version. Something about holding it in her hands and smelling the ink. She reminded me of you. Smart and funny.”

“Funny?” Barbara scoffed. “Not sure I’ve ever seen that side of her.”

Tammy tilted her head. “Then you haven’t been looking. She comes to the after-school program all the time, and we talk. I like her. But Mom, she has a lingering sadness about her.”

Barbara chuckled. “Lingering? I guess that word of the day app is still a favorite.”

Tammy looked so serious when she declared, “I think she’s lonely like you.”

Barbara hugged her daughter. “I’m not lonely, honey, I have you.”

“Yeah, but after Mama Hallie left, you don’t have someone to sleep next to you at night or have date night with. I know that’s because of me. Mama Hallie didn’t want a child who always got sick.”

“Oh, baby, that’s not true,” Barbara soothed. “Sometimes things are complicated with adults. Hallie loved you so much, but she wasn’t as strong as you. It was too hard for her to see you suffer. Her mama was sick when Hallie was young, and when you got sick, it brought up all those bad memories.”

“Her mama died, right?” Tammy asked.

“She did.”

“I’m not afraid of dying,” Tammy insisted.

“I know, honey. Remember, I said I would always tell you the truth? And the truth is that the doctors have assured me you’re ready for this surgery. They think there is a good chance they’ll be able to cut out all the bad cells. After that, we’ll need to keep going to see the doctors to make sure those cells don’t come back, but they said your prognosis is good. You’ll be around to care for me in my old age.” Barbara smiled.

“Okay. I’ll take care of you, Aunt Darcy, and Miss Ebban. I’ll have lots of money, then. Miss Ebban said that if I kept reading the Wall Street Journal and studied hard in school, I could own a company just like hers. She makes lots of money.”

“Money isn’t everything, little bunny; just remember that.”

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